What I’m most afraid of…
My greatest fear is death. This is a worry that has plagued me since my teens. One that I can’t escape and is a huge culprit to my high anxiety level. Each and every day I’m frightened with the question…”Is today the day I meet my demise?” Every little heart beat that skips I automatically think the worst and try to prepare myself for the coming catastrophe. This is no way to live people, I can promise you that.
I fear leaving my loved ones behind. Will they be able to live without me? What milestones and celebrations will I miss? What will my daughters do when they need my shoulder to cry on and I’m not there? Will they find someone else and move on with ease?
Is there a Heaven? Where will I go? Is it painful? Will I be reunited with my family who’ve passed before me or will I be alone in deafening silence and darkness? Which is another fear by the way…Being alone. I’m afraid I’ll be alone one day, something terrible will happen, I’ll die and there will be no one there to try and save me. I love to believe Heaven exists. Unfortunately I’m a realist and have trouble with faith and believing in what I can’t see.
I’ve experienced miracles and answered prayers throughout my life, and would love nothing more than to believe that God exists and and is responsible for them. Again, there’s that dang realist side of me kicking in.
The topic of conversation today isn’t religion or the validation of whether or not Heaven exists, but rather to explain my greatest fear, but I think they go hand in hand, as I couldn’t tell you one without the other.
How do I overcome this continual state of apprehension? What’s your greatest fear?
Until next time…I’m Trulyhers