Something you like about yourself…
I love my boobs. I’m not quite sure why but I always have.
I think maybe it’s because I’m so self conscious and don’t like many of my other physical features. I live by the motto “If you got it, flaunt it”. I’m a firm believer in bringing attention to your more favorable physical attributes, that way it detracts from the not so good ones. Even on a bad hair day, my boobs remain consistently round and alluring.
Much to my dismay, I went in for my first mammogram last year and the Dr. unfortunately found a mass. He proceeded with an ultrasound and from there suggested we do a biopsy. With death being my greatest fear, and my boobs being my best feature, I was terrified. The waiting was beyond dreadful as I anxiously awaited the results.
As the day drew near my anxiety rose. I remember sitting in the surgeons office thinking “This is it, this is the day of reckoning”. This wasn’t the case as the surgeon came in and recommended doing a surgical biopsy where she would go in and remove the entire mass. Even though I was fearful and panic stricken, I was also relieved. I wanted it out once and for all and to know without a doubt if it was cancerous or not.
It was a scary process, one that my Mother came and held my hand through. She was able to comfort me but the uncertainty remained which didn’t abate my nervousness. The procedure was done, I went home with a huge bandaged boob and a yucky drain inserted and attached.
A week or so later I proceeded to have the drain and stitches removed and returned home. The first thing I did was strip naked and step in front of the mirror…I was horrified. My beautiful round boob was no more. It was flatter, obviously smaller than the other, and sunken in where they had removed the lump. In utter panic I called my Mother and cried. She told me not to worry that it would probably fill back in with time. I waited, each day standing in front of the mirror searching for any changes.
Fast forward one year. It has filled back in to some degree but I don’t think it will ever be the same as it was before. Other people say they can’t tell the difference (yes, I will whip it out and ask) LOL but I tend to think they’re just being nice. (not to strangers of course!)
The good news is, the mass was not cancerous and I was comforted in the fact that I’d live to see another day.
I’ve learned to look at the whole experience as a positive one as I wear my scar with pride. Pride that I’m a strong woman and each scar on my body tells the story of my life, even if one of those are on my lovely boobs! It’s just another chapter in the book of who I am.
Get your mammograms ladies! And until next time, I’m Trulyhers