Do you ever feel such longing that it hurts? Do you ever take a hot bath because it’s a place you can cry and no one will know? What about the desire to be someplace else so badly it’s all you can think about? Or how about knowing that you are on the cusp of your new life but the passing days seem like years?
Is the “new you” and your bright future just within reach but the loose ends that need to be tied up seem to be taking forever? Are there really loose ends or is it fear? Fear of the unknown, fear of things not working. You know the old saying, “you never really know someone til you live with them”? So there’s that…
Maybe this is why I like reading so much…It provides an escape. It allows me to get lost in another world, even if only for a short while.
Yes, my future is looking great, my past is what it is…To make things easier for myself, I can focus on today. Instead of torturing myself about how many days are left before my new beginning, I can take it one day at a time. Focus on today, make the most of it and remember that it brings me one day closer to the future.
I can’t wait to get where I’m going. I want to plant flowers while I plant my own roots. I want to start nurturing them and watching them grow in their new home. I want to lose the feeling of being on a “time clock” while I visit, always being reminded we only have a limited time. I want to lose the feeling of being rushed to get things done or staying home the whole time because we know we have limited minutes together. I’m ready to be normal….get out and see things and visit places in my new home without being reminded that I have to leave it again.
I’ll try not to let the longing force me into the bath just to cry…Instead, I’ll focus on a day at a time and remember every one that passes is another one down.
Until next time…Trulyhers